Most days I would walk my dog Jess to the river,I like going there it feels comforting, the eroded banks,the trees how they hang over the river, the mountains with a dusting of snow and I’m the only one how knows it’s there.
But today seemed normal,but half an hour later I decided
to cool off with Jess but the water was swifter than usual, my dog isn’t a keen swimmer and got swept away, I and ran down following Jess I found a shallow piece and swam to Jess I just got there in time, Jess was safe again.
What a great introduction Kenzie; your description really sets the scene for this secret place. I also like how you then develop your storyline from there – Jess in jeopardy, you to the rescue and a happy ending. I wonder if you could have said a little more about Jess’ reactions to help raise the sense of danger?
Well done and keep rising to the Challenge.
Thank you
100 words isn’t maybe….I think I would of talked more about Jess but 100 words wasn’t enough:)
Hi Kenzie
I’m Molly from Rm 14 at OIS.
Your writing is really well stuctured and makes it sounds like it really happened. You also have a great volcabuarly.
Great job.
-Molly.